I have been suffering a bit with bloggers block these past few weeks and have been a bit stuck in the creative department. I normally have a bucket full of ideas and thoughts running around my head, but recently, it has been rather stagnant! I have thought a lot about this and about the reasons why there are times when we feel like we could explode with ideas and other times when we feel we simply have nothing to say. After much pondering, I came to the conclusion that perhaps my bucket was simply too full of negative and sad thoughts and needed emptying to make space for more positive energy. Following a death in the family and other stressful events I was left feeling a little down.
When I was young...ok, very young, my bucket was generally full of trivial thoughts regarding friends.. me.. food.. me.. fun.. me.. the beach.. me...and so on. It would fill a little with innocent and trivial stuff and then empty out before reaching the brim . As the years went by and life started throwing a few bricks at me, my bucket started getting a bit fuller and a bit more challenging to carry around. In went puberty, crazy hormones, curves, exams, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends, new jobs, first home, mortgage, marriage, kids, moving countries, moving house, divorce, wrinkles, grey hair, re-marriage, new life, teenage kids....OMG! I think my cup runneth over!!
There comes a time when we must all sit still and take a long deep look at our life and a long deep look into our overflowing buckets. I am no different to any other human being who has been on this planet for a few years. I have carried around a huge amount of heavy baggage, some of which I chose to take along and some of which I was simply forced to adopt. My baggage gets very heavy at times and I have to admit that the overwhelming weight often forces me down onto my knees. Indeed, there was a time when being on my knees was becoming a permanent position and I was becoming weaker and increasingly more fearful of ever reaching a place where I would be able to stand again. I suppose I could say that I had reached rock bottom, the end of the road or whatever place you might reach before the coffin closes.
I look back on this time of my life now, not with despair, but with gratitude. I am absolutely certain that I would not be the strong person I am today had I not suffered such intense emotional rawness. Although I am also certain that it was my strength that got me through in the end. I also believe that I needed to travel the high seas before reaching calmer waters. When you fall on your face, you have two choices. You either stay there or you get up. The only difference for me was that I only had one choice and three reasons to get back on track and if you have children, you know what I mean. That was 5 years ago and I would be lieing if I said I was all better now. Some wounds take a long time to heal and some never do, but life goes on regardless and there are days when I feel totally overwhelmed with my lot, especially when my bucket is too full! However, there is one thing that I have found which always makes my wounds feel better and that is exercise and a healthy diet.
The one thing that has been consistent in my life over the years has been a daily dose of exercise. I have always found that the best medication for a troubled mind has been high intensity cardio! Yes, these legs have covered many, many miles and I thank them every day. So now, when my bucket is full and my mind refuses to absorb any new information or allow any new ideas to light up my bulb, I simply sit still for a moment...... And then I move..... I turn off my phone, shut down the computer, take off into the wilderness and I climb a mountain. Literally. There is nothing quite like a 2 or 3 hour hike uphill with a final reward of an amazing view over the world below. And there I will sit and empty out my bucket and gather a bit more strength for the journey home. I am not saying you all need to go and climb a mountain, but I think it is a good idea to empty out your buckets from time to time and to maybe use exercise as a form of therapy for your mind. If you can balance a strong mind with a strong body, your bucket will take a lot longer to fill.
Peace and strength to you all,
Tamara
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